Man Banned From Every Supermarket In Britain.

Eugenio Freitas, 49, has been banned from every supermarket in Britain unless supervised by an adult. Even Asda. The Sun says he earned this award by “performing a solo sex act” in the meat aisle of Sainsbury’s, Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire.

Mr Freitas was taken to court. He was found guilty of outraging public decency. He was handed a six month suspended prison sentence.

Prosecutor Marcus Harry told the court: “At first a member of staff gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he was adjusting himself. But she was then called to the CCTV area after a shopper complained to a security officer. The staff member and security officer viewed CCTV of the defendant. He was seen for about 10 minutes with his hands down his trousers and in his pocket with his hands moving around.”

What an odd thing to be aroused by a Sainsbury’s, an anaemic, soulless, white-lit world of packaged goods. Unless it’s an elaborate plot to get of doing the shopping? If it is, we have news for Mr Freitas: his wife wants to go to the dress shops.