Killer Spider In Battle To The Death With Kent Tot (Or, Er, Not)

We told you the best way to eradicate invasive species is to eat them:

PS: Of course, this being the Daily Star, the story is that “little Ava Shephard” did not eat the “flesh-eating arachnid in Kennington, Kent. 
But she might have eaten a false black widow, and that’s why it’s front-page news…

PPS: No one has ever died of a spider bite in the UK.

Other than that the story is correct.