Woman Repeatedly Ran Over Boyfriend Who Refused To Stop At McDonald’s.

FILE under Low Blood Sugar this story of the Tennessee woman who wanted her boyfriend to stop at a drive-thru McDonald’s.

Crystal Greer Brooks, 33, was in 41-year-old Santiago Hernandez truck early on Thursday morning.

The Liberation Wrapper Means Japanese Women With Small Mouths Can Eat Burgers Without Shame.

USELESS Products For Women introduces the Liberation Wrapper.

With this handy device, women with small mouths, or ochobo, can eat a meaty burger without disgusting everyone else.

Sleepy Driver Crashes Into Bed Shop.

A SLEEPY driver crashed into Sleep Experts mattress store in Dallas, Texas. The female driver she fell asleep on the way home.

She was not hurt.

Police Arrest Woman Wearing Cheeseburger As A Sandal

THE Loganville Patch, has news of Waffle House customers:

“A couple was arrested Sunday (Nov. 3) in connection to having sex while drunk in the Waffle House parking lot in Loganville. According to the Loganville Police report, an officer saw the woman and male engaging in the sexual act in the backseat of a Dodge truck at the 4752 Atlanta Highway establishment around 1:30 a.m. The car smelled strongly of alcohol.

The officer told the couple to get dressed and show him their licenses. While the man immediately put his pants on and complied, the woman simply sat in the passenger’s seat. The officer had to tell her numerous times to put her clothes on, the report says. But when the female finally got dressed, she attempted to put a cheeseburger on her foot as if it were a sandal.”

The Amazing Three-In-One Goniurellia Tridens Fruit Fly.

This is the Goniurellia tridens fruit fly. Those are not drawing on its wings. It’s not that kind of manmade fly art. Nature has given the tridents markings that look a lot like ants. Dr Brigitte Howarth, of Zayed University, noted the Goniurellia tridens in the UAE.  There are 27 kinds of this creature from the tephritidae family.

India: Bride Marries ‘Relative’ After Groom Vanishes.

PATIENCE, men looking for a wife. You just need to be at a lot of weddings. And wait.  In India, a wedding guest has stepped in to marry a jilted bride.

The 30-year-old man was there to see the marriage of Ponradha, 23, daughter of Palpandi of Lakshmimanagaram near Arumuganeri in Kanyakumari district, Tamil Nadu, to Sithiraivelu, 35, son of Jayaraman.

London Hipperdrome Wants Dwarf Doormen For New Tiny Entrance.

ARE you an angry dwarf who enjoys to look down on people? If you answered ‘yes’ and ‘yes’, then the Hippodrome Casino in London wants you. The venue is looking for door dwarfs.

 An advert says:

“The Hippodrome is seeking to create a team of Britain’s smallest bouncers – Door Dwarfs – for its new entrance in Cranbourn Street, Leicester Square. Duties include door control and customer relations. We welcome applications from those under 4ft 10 inches.”

People Of Walmart: The Tulsa Tosser

To Tulsa’s Walmart. Beth Davis walks into toilets. It is 8:30 a.m. A naked man is already there. He’s masturbating with his pants at his ankles.

Police Use Crucified Rats As Anti-Theft Warning.

WHEN Liu Junjiang spotted rats loose around in his his company’s newly refurbished office in the Chinese city of Chengdu, he and colleagues captured them. The rats had been eating lunches and biting cables. Liu and his part-time pest controllers thought it a good idea to tie the live rats to a tree. They wrote a shame message by their bodies declaring, “I was wrong. I repent.”

iPhone Thief Sends Victim Huge Handwritten List Of Contacts.

WHEN Zou Bin’s phone was stolen by a man with whom he’d shared a taxi ride in China’s Hunan province, he sent a text to the  “I can assure you that I will find you. Send me back the phone to the address below if you are sensible.”

Mr Bin wanted his phone and, more importantly, the contacts on it. He sent another message: “Look through the contact numbers in my mobile and you will know what trade I am in.”

Meteorite Hits Boy On Head

Steven Lippard, 7, from Loxahatchee, Florida, is nursing a sore head caused by…a falling meteorite. Dad Wayne says he initially thought the injury had been caused by a golf ball or maybe a bird swooping down. Then he found the small stones. So. Meteorite. Must be.

Norway’s Vertical Cemetery Offers A Cracking View Of The Dead.

 When you die , you will ascend. You will rise up in Martin McSherry’s vertical cemetery. The Royal Danish School of Architecture students has showcased his design at the Oslo conference for Nordic cemeteries. His work has been  commended as “a highly original contribution”.

He says: “Existing cemeteries will slowly be removed to provide land to the city’s living souls. The vertical cemetery, with its open front, will become a significant part of the city and a daily reminder of death’s existence. In time, the city’s tallest and largest building will become a grave for all its citizens – the city’s ever-changing monument.” 

There will be distinct floors for all believers and non-believers. Muslims, Jews, Christians and more will be slotted in. Who gets to see out eternity above whom is a moot point. But, then, the cemetery will grow because it’s modular. It can be like a religious game of jenga. You just have to lean to slot in together.

If Ikea did cemeteries, it would look a lot like this.

And it will grow and grow, the tower of decay casting a shadow over the city, creeping up on you. Death is not something that happens to other people. It’s creeping up on you.

Still, some things don’t change even with McSherry’s design: the dead love to be buried with a good view.

East Sussex Breeding Sloths Are Both Males.

THE sloths at Drusillas Park , Alfriston, East Sussex, have yet to breed. Sofia and male Tupee were introduced in 2011. And still nothing. What could be wrong? Well, it turns out that Sophia is male.

Wife Bites Off Husband’s Testicles.

TO Córdoba, Spain, where the local lovely has been arrested for beating up her soon-to-be ex-husband and biting off bis testicles.

At Córdoba’s Criminal Court, the prosecutor says: “She tried to stick her fingers in his eyes and kicked him in the head, chest and back. She then smashed him over head with an ashtray. Then she put a rope round his neck, tightened it sharply and bit his ears and testicles. She then ripped out several prosthetic teeth from the man’s mouth.”

Man Sick Of Shopping With Girlfriend Kills Himself at Mall.

Tao Hsiao, 38, was with his girlfriend at a shopping mall in Xuzhou, Jiangsu, China. Five hours into the shop he wanted to leave. An eyewitness says: “He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime and it was pointless buying any more. She started shouting at him accusing him of being a skinflint and of spoiling Christmas, it was a really heated argument.”

Woman Glued To Seat Freed By WD40.

We join the action at the Banks County Home Depot in north Georgia. Illyanna De La Keur has sat on a chair. she can’t get up. the chair has been smeared in glue. Strong glue.

“I’m a grown woman who can’t even sit up,” says Ms De La Keur said “I was stuck probably over an hour. I’m still so sore that I can’t leave my couch.”

Bitter Coffee: French Cafe Charges Less For Being Polite.

NICE’S Petite Syrah café is offering customers the chance to get a discount on their coffee.  Asking for a “a coffee” will set you back €7. But “a coffee please” is €4.25.  “Hello, a coffee please” is a bargain €1.40.

Of course, this being France, anyone speaking in an English accent will be ignored. But why does the Petite Syrah stop there? Why not extend the offers to all manner of manners?

Man Banned From Every Supermarket In Britain.

Eugenio Freitas, 49, has been banned from every supermarket in Britain unless supervised by an adult. Even Asda. The Sun says he earned this award by “performing a solo sex act” in the meat aisle of Sainsbury’s, Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire.

Mr Freitas was taken to court. He was found guilty of outraging public decency. He was handed a six month suspended prison sentence.

Prosecutor Marcus Harry told the court: “At first a member of staff gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he was adjusting himself. But she was then called to the CCTV area after a shopper complained to a security officer. The staff member and security officer viewed CCTV of the defendant. He was seen for about 10 minutes with his hands down his trousers and in his pocket with his hands moving around.”

What an odd thing to be aroused by a Sainsbury’s, an anaemic, soulless, white-lit world of packaged goods. Unless it’s an elaborate plot to get of doing the shopping? If it is, we have news for Mr Freitas: his wife wants to go to the dress shops.

Santa Claus Crucified In Texas.

To Corpus Christi, Texas, where Santa Claus has been crucified by homeowner Aaron Olivares and renamed ‘SLAYER’. He says: “It’s December, it’s Christmas time. It is just a Christmas ornament.”

Maybe the pressure to have fun at Christmas got to Santa. Was is suicide? Did he just want to en it all, fed up and depressed at having to be jovial on demand?

Walmart Sells Nintendo 3DS With Free Dirty Photos – Hurry Whilst Stocks Last!

“HE went to play his games, not knowing anything was on it,” says Tom Mayhew of his eight-year-old son and his ‘new’ Nintendo 3DS, the one he’d been given for Christmas. “After a while, [the kids] took pictures of themselves and when the picture was taken it went to a file. When that file was opened, there were already pictures on it.”

Not any pictures – but a dozen pornographic pictures.